Countdowns Neatly Swept Away
by PencilMonkeyGaiden
Summary: The Wards team of the PRT ENE get an indirect lesson on the importance of Rule Number One.


**Countdowns Neatly Swept Away **

**Summary:**  
The Wards team of the PRT ENE get an indirect lesson on the importance of Rule Number One.

**Chapter I**

Aegis led the rest of the Wards into the bowels of the gloomy, abandoned warehouse.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Gallant mumbled. "It looks too clean to be an ABB hidey-hole."

"We can't afford to ignore the tip-off," Vista replied. "If there's really a stash of Bakuda's time-stop bombs hidden away somewhere in here, we've got to find them and dispose of them, before any more people get hurt."

Aegis nodded. "Yeah, Bakuda's bombing run on the city has been one of the worst crime sprees we've seen in _months!_"

"Well, maybe not months," Vista rebutted. "Weeks, certainly. This is Brockton Bay we're talking about."

"Yeah, but that bombing run's resulted in..." Aegis started counting on his fingers. "Spreading terror, causing massive amounts of property damage, hundreds of people have been injured or killed, or suffered really weird fates-than-death..."

"Bakuda must've copied my power to make those damn time bombs!" Clockblocker hissed angrily.

"Copyright infringement..."

"Look!" Kid Win pointed. "There's someone over there. It might be an ABB guard!"

Shadow Stalker hefted her crossbows. "BRB, gonna make an ABB pincushion."

"Relax, it's just a little old Asian man in yellowish-orange robes, sweeping the floor," said Clockblocker. "You guys cover me, I'll just go time-freeze him... Just to be on the safe side, y'know?"

"Ooh, be careful!" Shadow Stalker sneered. "The tiny, wizened old geezer is armed with a _broom!_ It's sooo scary! He might clean your clock!"

There was a tense, awkward pause.

"...Stalker? Did... D-did you just _crack a joke?_"

"I dunno, did you just crack your skull?"

Clockblocker rubbed his head. "...Uh, no?"

Shadow Stalker held up a fist. "That's easily fixed. Hold still."

"I'll, uh... I'll just go freeze that old guy, okay?"

Vista frowned, as the rest of the Wards watched Clockblocker poke the old man, making him go completely still.

"Saffron-coloured robes?" Vista mused. "That's not ABB gang colors, though..."

Aegis shrugged. "Better safe than sorry."

"Could be safer." Shadow Stalker waved her crossbow again. "Plus, he probably bleeds red, and that's definitely an ABB color."

Eventually, they managed to convince Shadow Stalker not to shoot anyone, and continued their stealthy trip into the building. They encountered several more people along the way, all of them looking more like cleaning staff than ABB gang members.

"It felt weird when I used my power on those people," Clockblocker grumbled, rubbing his arm.

"So? Who cares?" Aegis shrugged. "They all froze up just fine, didn't they? Time-stopped is time-stopped."

"Could you please stop talking about how you feel when you overpower old men?" Kid Win whined. "It's making me really uncomfortable."

"There's something fishy about all this..." Shadow Stalker's head whipped around, as she turned to glare at the darkened corners they walked past. "Hey, Vista... Are you messing with us? Did you use your powers to warp the building and loop us back around, or something?"

"What?! No! Why would I do that?"

"Well, somebody is definitely playing a trick on us. Didn't anyone else notice? All of those doddering old guys looked the same!"

"Come to think of it... Everyone we've encountered did look pretty much identical." Aegis scratched his head. "All of them were dressed the same, all of them were sweeping the floor, all of them were Asian..."

"Oh, so everyone who isn't Caucasian looks the same to you? Huh?" Shadow Stalker snarled, jabbing him in the chest. "You _racist!_"

Aegis spluttered, recoiling from the angry girl. "Wha? B-but... You were the one who said-"

"Hang on, are you seriously accusing Aegis of being racist?" Clockblocker interjected. "You do realize that he's _Hispanic_, right?"

"Oh, so because he isn't lily white, he's not allowed to be a racist?" Shadow Stalker barked. "That's _definitely_ racist!"

"C'mon, seriously! Can we get back to the issue with the identical old guys all sweeping the floor in identical patterns?" Aegis insisted. "I mean, even their frickin' _brooms_ look the same!"

"Brush-ist!"

"Are you kids done arguing?" Vista drawled, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder at a packing crate behind her. "'Cause I've found the explosives."

After a brief discussion*, Kid Win went over to examine the contents of the crate.

"Hmm... Well, this one's definitely a bomb. Most likely a time-stop bomb, so I guess the tip-off was right on the money," he mumbled, rummaging through a pile of Tinker-tech devices inside the crate. "It's also disarmed. Completely harmless, in its current state."

The other Wards blinked in surprise.

"What, really?"

"Yes, really."

"Are you sure?" Gallant asked.

"What about the rest of them?" Vista added.

Kid Win held up the Tinker-tech explosive in his hand, giving the others a closer look. He pointed at an exposed bit of its inner workings.

"See this red wire? The one that's been very carefully cut?"

"Yeah?"

"See all these other wires, that all have been cut as well?"

"Ah... Right."

"So, all the bombs have already been defused?" Aegis folded his arms, looking thoughtful**. "That's great, but... Who could have beat us to it?"

Vista crouched down, studying the ground. "Y'know, the floor is really clean in here..."

"No tracks, you mean?"

"Actually, I was thinking of the old guy with the broom. Or possibly guys, plural, if they weren't all the same person."

Shadow Stalker snorted derisively. "Idiot! Those wires weren't cut with a broomstick!"

"Well, duh!" Vista snapped. "But he could have carried a set of wire cutters in his pocket, or something."

Kid Win rubbed the back of his neck. "Well... The cleaning staff at the Rig often get upset about the tangle of power cables and junk in Armsmaster's lab... So, I guess it'd probably make their vacuuming a lot easier, if they carried wire cutters."

"Are you seriously thinking that the sweeping dudes, or dude, could have done it?" Clockblocker said. "That some little old guy with a broom ran ahead of us all the way, broke free from my power whenever we turned our backs on him so we thought he was different people when we encountered him again, and just so happened to know enough about time-bubble bombs that he could disarm an entire crate of them, before we caught up with him?!"

The others mulled this over for a moment, and then collectively shook their heads.

"Nah, no way."

"Nuh-uh."

"Nope."

"Those old geezers looked super frail, and totally harmless."

"I'm impressed they could even lift their brooms, with matchstick arms like those."

"Maybe the brooms were made of matchsticks, too?"

"Uh... That would be something of a fire hazard, what with all the, y'know... sweeping involved."

"Shut up!"

**CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA. CNSA.**

*I.e. everyone pushing and shoving each other, until Kid Win ended up getting unanimously out-voted (and out-shoved) by the other Wards. In a show of compassion and sympathy typical of Brockton Bay, the other Wards cheered him on with heartwarming comments like: "You're the frickin' Tinker, _you_ deal with it!", and "Sucks to be you, nimrod!"

**Aegis's expression could also have been interpreted another way, but given the nature of his powers, it was probably impossible for him to get constipated.


End file.
